Birthday Girl

Today is my birthday.  It's my big 3-0!

Exactly 10 years ago, in 2002 when I was 20 years old, I began my journey as an political science major (actually, I specialized in it).  I was in my 2nd year and the summer prior, I decided to switch from a life science major to a poli sci major.  Definitely a 180 switch for me at the time. 

At the time, I was one angry and critical student.  I was unhappy about the world, about the injustice, the inequality, about everything.  I wanted to change it and I thought the best way for me to do it is via a poli scie degree.  After all, isn't that what politics is about?  Who gets what, when, and how? 

I felt so liberated being a poli sci major because I can study a broad range of topics from Aristotle, to Kant, to US constitutions, to global economy.  Such diversity and all relevant to what I want to know about the world.

10 years later, now in 2012, I have studied to the top of the education food chain.  I have become a teacher at a university.  I do research, I lecture classes, I make up exams, I grade papers.  I have authority.  I've done it.  But I am not happy.

At the time, i.e. me 10 years ago, I thought that was what I wanted.  To teach at a top university and do research so that I can prove everyone wrong with my expertise.  But I find that that's not how it works, not quite exactly. 

I found that the more I know, I more I don't know.  Yesterday, while I was walking home from work, I was thinking,

"10 years ago, I was angry and I wanted to change the system. 
Now, 10 years later, I am still angry, though in a different way, and I want to be the system!"

Is that a good thing?  The difference between now and then is that I want to tell people what to do via the market, via economic power, rather than via the education route.  I've lost my faith in our education system, sadly enough.  Whether you are educated or not, you still need to spend and pay for things.  So, why not beat the system via the market?

Why not? The $ speaks the truth, no?