This is a story about Chris and I and it's a tricky one to tell. It's one that I hold very very close to my heart and on planet Earth, only 2 other people know about this.
Yes, I know what you are all thinking: You are putting this up on the internet where potentially everyone will know about it. Yeah.
Well, I think this is part of the reason why I started this blog. I don't promote this blog. I haven't told anyone (any of my friends) about this blog. So, if you are reading this blog, it's because you've found it yourself and you think it's quite interesting. I think that's what makes it quite special, really.
The reason I started this blog is because I want to write down how I feel about the world. Anything that happens to me in life whether it's my job, Chris, family, shopping...anything...if it catches my attention, I will write it down. Hence, this is not a beauty blog, a fashion blog...or cooking blog....it's life blog. It's like a diary essentially, but the difference is, I write it online because 1) it's faster typing and 2) I think some people may catch my humour and have a laugh or two reading it. And that's always a nice thing.
So, that's that.
And I have a feeling this will be one of my longest post on here.
The story of Chris and I began in 2006. I went on an exchange tour of 2 weeks in the summer of 2006 and that was where I met Chris. I didn't pay much attention to him at the time, not because I had a boyfriend, but because, you know, I wasn't really looking. I had just finished my Masters and I simply wanted a break, a nice time to relax before I go on to start my PhD.
Now, as you know with exchanges, people came from everywhere and that was certainly the case for Chris and me. I was in a different country and he was in some other country. After about a year or so of keeping in touch on MSN, so 2007, we hit it off, so to speak. I told him that I liked him and he, having just got out of a relationship, felt that I was somewhat special. So, we began our long distance relationship.
The thing thing is, flying time wise, he was just 1.5 hours away -- and all within the same time zone. So, in terms of long distance relationship, this was the easiest of the sort.
But that's not the story that I want to tell today.
The story that I want tell today is about Chris' other girl. Yes, the other girl. Two years into our long distance relationship, in January 2010, I stumbled upon an email from this girl who said to Chris, "If you and your girlfriend continue to fight and it doesn't work out, I will be there for you." Something along those lines.
How did I discover this and other emails from her? Well, Chris forgot to log off his gmail account, so when I sign on to check my own emails, I stumbled upon his emails.
That moment,
I will always remember that moment.
You think to yourself, Wow, the world is really flat. There are monsters under your bed and all those crazy things that you thought were impossible, they were actually true.
That moment, everything was upside down. And at that moment, my phone rang and it was my dear friend that I mentioned in the previous post.
I said: Hello?
He said: What's wrong?
I will always remember that moment because if left to my own device, I would fall out of my chair and fall straight down to hell, but my friend stopped me......because I had to answer the phone and utter Hello in the most normal way possible. But my friend knew right away that something was so so wrong.
So, it turned out that Chris never dated the girl. They went out a couple of times and that was it. Chris was going through some rough times and he felt that she was someone that he could talk to and connect. So apparently, he couldn't connect with me at the time.
Of course.
I trust Chris. I know that he didn't do anything that crossed the line...border line...yes, but certainly not cross the line. The girl, however, I don't know. She obviously, in my mind then and still to this day (she's married now) is the wicked witch who wanted us to break up. She was obviously head over heels over my guy.
And yes, if I ever meet her (I don't know what she looks like), but if I ever meet her, I will give her a piece of my attitude. Right. Then. And. There.
The moral of this story is that for one, Chris and I are not perfect. I've always imagined that I would have this perfect relationship and well, I won't. It's not the fairy tales. There is no perfect guy out there who will wash the dishes, kiss the ground you walk on, or iron your laundry.
So, the fact that Chris and I, well, mostly me, have got passed that made me treasure our relationship just that little bit more. Because I had put in the work.
As I'm about to get married in June, I, in all honesty, am having some anxiety issues. I don't know what will be in store for me and Chris. Will we have another 3rd person issue...will we have family issues, financial issues, or other issues....who knows.
[This is usually where the cliche comes in with "So, I guess that's life, eh?"]
But I don't feel that way. I feel that it is in our control, to a large extent. A relationship is a two-way thing. I am responsible for the way I was when Chris was going through rough times. If I behaved differently, I think what happened would be different.
So, as much as he was guilty (yes, in my mind, he was guilty), I was just as guilty too.
...........And that's that. Hope you enjoyed =)
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