Where is your courage?

Wait, is this about courage?

When I began my PhD program, I did not really think twice about whether I could finish it, whether it was something for me, whether I could find a job after, or whether I could even manage my life in another country an ocean away.  All I knew was that, "Cool, let's try something different."

And that was that.

Now, where is that 'courage'? Where is that "Cool, let's do it?"  As I sit in my office (with that big window), I kept thinking about the gold, silver, and diamond.  I want to do something I enjoy and that something I enjoy is not this, window office or not.

I enjoy stories, pictures, art, and coolness.  It's not what I'm doing now.

*sigh* where is my gutsiness?