Long time coming...

Well, I've disappeared for while....and now I'm back again.

What they say is true, the wedding bliss does take you up and away to far away places and it will take you some time before you come back down to earth. 

So, that's where I've been and I came back down today...and it's nice. 

Nice?  What do you mean nice?  Don't you want to live in that wedding bliss bubble forever?

No, not at all. 
Because I realize it was getting a little bit weird.

In that world, everything is pink and pretty.  Yes - pink.  The sky is pink, hearts are everywhere and everyone congratulates you on the new life.  They love your dress, they 'like' all your pictures on Facebook and they can't stop commenting on how you two are perfect for each other. 

It's really the perfect thing........but overtime, it's sickening.

Chris and I sealed the deal on June 1st.  It's now 2 weeks later and we are still dealing with comments and 'likes' on various social medias.  It's finally starting to dissipate and I can finally stop being a bride and get back down to earth to being me.

Finally.  It's tiring, honestly.

To this day, I still have yet to call Chris my husband.  Other than to government officials for applying visas, filling out forms or answering calls, I have yet to say the magic word.  I hesitate.

I know a lot of people who can't wait to adopt the new last name and begin calling each other hubby and wifey, but for me, husband and wife are loaded words -- super super heavy.  I don't use them lightly.

So yes, I got married and things seemed to have changed, but much has remained the same.  I often look and think, "What was this wedding all about?  Did it add anything new to our relationship?  What did it change?  If it didn't happen, what would be different?"

*Sigh* I have a feeling I will never know the answer. 

In the meantime, I am looking for a host in my couchsurfing adventure.  I still have not managed to find anyone who will take us in in Paris, London, Amsterdam and Frankfurt.

Really do wish us luck in this department!  We are traveling on a budget here!!

Cool +

You know, I never thought I would end up being married.   
I know I know, I've only been married for 6 days.....

But still, I never actually thought that this would happen to me.  I never had a boyfriend until I was doing my PhD.  I was never popular with the boys.  I mean, they all pretty much looked right pass me, never really gave me a second look. I wast just never one of those girls, you know?

So, the fact that I'm at where I am today is quite amazing.  I'm surprised myself.  In fact, this whole thing has been quite amazing.  The past 2 weeks have been like a dream.  This was what I was thinking on the bus on my way to work this morning.

Not to brag or anything, but I have to admit that my life has been pretty cool so far.

And I hope it will continue to be that way for years to come. 

A friend's tale

In my last weekend update, I mentioned that I did manage to do other things in addition to dealing with my infection {the yeast kind}. 

Well, one of the things that I did was meeting up with my old colleague / friend.  We have become close friends and I value her friendship a lot.  So, I actually hesitate to put her story here because well, even in this blog space, there is such a thing as privacy.

So yes, I am a person with boundaries.

Her story is not a happy one.  I met up with her and we sat down for dinner.  That was when she started telling me the story.  She began with this...

Friend: I have good news.
Me: Oh yeah? What is it?
Friend: Divorce.
Me: What?
Friend: Yep, I'm getting a divorce.
Me: Why? What happened?  {Yes typical me asking silly questions}
Friend: Well, domestic abuse and extramarital affair.
Me: {eyebrows raised}.......
Friend: And it's not just one girl, it's many many.
Me: Nooo....

You see, I've known this friend since our PhD days and even though she was always a little bit mysterious in the sense that she usually wouldn't tell you everything right way, she was never the type that would, in my mind, have such a story to tell.

She was very proper, punctual, and nice.  Just an all around nice gal who has worked hard enough to deserve better.  Much much better.

Without going into the details, I mean, if you watch any television or soap operas, you would be familiar with the details......the guy and his parents are pretty ^%!@#%$^&^*).

I am sad that this happened and my friend said to me, "Please, do not let this affect your wedding."

I know this may sound strange, but I wish my friend a speedy divorce, get away from this guy asap, and live a happy and normal life with her newborn and parents.  That's what she needs right now.

Weekend Updates

I.....have a yeast infection.  

Yes, that's what happened after the weekend and it's not fun.  This is my first time and I hope this will be the only time.  Because it is THAT horrible.  


I thought it would go away after a night of sleep but today, which is the second day, it's.........anyway, I immediately booked a doctor's appointment to get it fixed - quickly.  

Can you believe it?  I'm getting married in 2 weeks and I get this.  Well, I know I shouldn't be surprised because anything can go wrong before a wedding.

Well, my appointment is at 2:45 this afternoon and I still have a couple hours to itch.  

*shakes her head* This is awful!
 
By the way, I did also do a lot of other stuff during the weekend and I will update you in due time.  A very good friend of mine came to visit me and dropped some surprising news.  But I still don't know how to put it down in words at this point....so give me a few days and I know I will be able to type it out.  

Take care y'all! 

Not Bye, Miss American Pie

To stop and leave is not to say goodbye.

Hold on, Zooe; come again?!

Prof Evans (remember him from my previous post?) knocked on my door this afternoon.

He peeked in and said: Well, bye Professor!  I'm heading off to the airport now.
Me: Oh, hi Paul!  You are leaving today!
Evans: Yes, well, it was very nice meeting you.....
Me: Same here
Evans: I wish you all the best; Happy Marriage and Honeymoon and I hope that you will become a successful and happy and lovely professor in the next 5 years.
Me: Well.....that's......
Evans: No, I really wish that for you.
Me: Then, thank you very much!  Safe journey!  Safe journey!

And with that, he was gone like the wind.

I think he must have felt that I belong in academia, but maybe not in this current university.  So, he was always very encouraging in terms of me giving it another chance and thinking it through. 

I am ambivalent about this profession.  If I do end up doing it again, a miracle or something to that effect must have happened.  While I'm not ruling it out, but for me to step inside another university again, I know that it will take a whole lot of convincing and soul searching.

So, this trip / time off / 7-months-vacation-thing could not have happened in a more opportune time.  It's the perfect way for me to detox and un-jade myself.  I know for a fact that I have become jaded.  I don't understand nor do I believe in the university system anymore and this not good, especially if I work in such a system.

I really look forward to what is to come.  I'm not saying it will be smooth sailing, but at least, it will be in the right direction for me.  So while I am leaving and stopping this now, it doesn't mean I am done and through.

In fact, this is just the beginning.  For me and for Chris <3

A day (and a half) in my Life

A typical day in my life is, to be honest, not that exciting.  It involves me getting up, getting dressed, and going to the office.

But on some days, I do think it is a bit out of the ordinary.  Let me try to explain.

For many of us, a typical day - a normal day - is a day that is not out of the ordinary.  We dine at our usual venue, wait at the same bus stop, walk the same route, and see the same scenery.  Essentially, it means that we go through our day with the same group of people.  If you work in an office setting, you dine at places that are full of people like you; when you wait at the bus stop, you are also with people who dress like you.  In other words, you rarely meet anyone that is different, out of your social circle and different from your circumstance.

What I notice about my day is that it's not like that, at all.  When I go to work in the morning (way past the rush hour), I don't see office-goers; I actually see a lot grandmas out and about doing grocery shopping.  They talk about the sales that are going on at the markets, the fish, the meat and all the "little things" in life.

When I'm at work, my colleagues (tenured professors) talk about totally different things: ideas, concepts, abstract things.  Most of them drive to work and they are quite well off.  They eat at fancy restaurants and live a life that is above the average income earner.  I certainly don't fit into that high society, but that's where I work.

At lunch time, instead of dining with my colleagues at restaurants that I can't afford, I do take-outs like many of my students.  So yes, I would be that person with a window office, overlooking the great harbour view, and chowing down a burger. 

And when it's time to go home, again, I don't go the same way as my colleagues.  Instead, I walk down from the university campus to where stay-at-home moms pick up their kids from school and head home to prepare dinner.

So you see, my whole day consists of blending in with very different groups of people, literally, from each social class - from the poor and needy to the freshies who are just starting out, to the well-off "upper class" and finally, to the middle class stay-at-home moms.

And that is my typical day....and here are the pictures to prove it.


Beginning from yesterday:

I invigilated the exam for my course.  This was taken about 10 minutes before the students came in for the exam.

 
Early next morning:

 

I lined up to buy these famous cookies from this store.  These are all tourists.  I was the only local who bought a big enough suitcase to fill 20 boxes of cookies.  Does this sound crazy or what?  These are for Chris, not for me.  I ended up taking a taxi home because I couldn't manage the suitcase.  I looked like a crazy tourist. 

At lunch, I ate a restaurant near my house.  Here, I'm sitting with grandmas and grandpas and a lot of construction workers who are on their lunch break.

 

One of my favorite dishes is rice in tomato sauce.  It doesn't look appetizing here, I know.  But trust me, it's good.

After lunch, taking the mini-bus back to the office.  Again, I'm surrounded by tourists, students, grandmas and foreign maids.

Arrived at the office and began marking. Bumped into my colleagues dressed in suits and dresses.  Me?  I'm in jeans, T-shirt, and sandals.  Totally office appropriate =P

 

What about you?  What's your life like?  Do you live in one social zone or multiple social zones?

Bookish Weekend

With Chris away on a business trip, I decided to spend my weekend in bookstores.  I hit up two major bookstores in town and did quite alright.

 <-- I bought this.  Chris and I will be going to Nepal and hopefully India after Europe and since I kind of have a feeling that there's not a lot of information online, I figured I'd get this and do some reading.

Nepal is gorgeous and according to the book or what I've read so far, it's an unique experience for travelers.  So, I do look forward to going there and can't wait to take in all the sights.

Next, I whipped out my phone and started doing some "photocopying."  This is one of the areas in Prague, which is where Chris and I will be visiting as well.  This guidebook was some crazy dollars and so I decided to do some active reading and made some camera-notes.

When I was doing this, one of the salesperson happened to walk by.  I wasn't sure if he knew what I was doing, but I finished what I had to do and moved onto another section.  Sneaky sneaky me.  

If Chris was here though, he would have acted like it was all normal and continued doing what he was doing.  But for me, this was enough stealing for one day.  Yes, indeed, this was really the reason why I decided to make the purchase above.  The guilty conscience wouldn't let me get away with it.

This bookstore I went to is quite high up in the shopping center, 9th to the 11th floor.  The view going up and coming down is quite something.  For those with acrophobia (fear of height), the view will make your knees weak.  Take a look!

  

An apple a day...

The view from my office this morning.

And this is the apple I want to talk about (keep reading)

Today was supposed to be a chillax day at the office.  I scheduled two brief meetings with students and then a departmental seminar/lunch.  That was all that was on the agenda....supposed to be easy as pie.

It didn't quite turn out as planned.

The two meetings went fine.  The students didn't have major problems.  Everything was good until the departmental lunch seminar.

The talk was on "Teaching World Issues with 21st Century Characteristics to 21st Century Students: What's Next?"  It was a great talk given by a visiting colleague whom I've had the pleasure to meet.  We had lunch two days ago and it was great.

At the end of the talk, he said to me, "Zooe, stay put for a bit."

When the room emptied out....

Evans (the colleague):You know, I was so sad about what you said during lunch 2 days ago about this system.
Me: Really...I'm sorry...
Evans: No....you know, it doesn't have to be this way.  Every system is different.  Just because it didn't work out in this one doesn't mean it will not work in other ones.
Me: I know.  I see that
Evans: And when it works, it's really fantastic.  It's great!
Me: I know, I see it through you.

Evans: You are so involved and engaged in this; I can see it.  It's great.  So, don't lose that.
Me: Thank you.  You know, I got quite emotional in my last class on Tuesday.
Evans: Yeah, you were keeping it quite cool before that....did you cry?
Me: I tried not to...that would have been too much.
Evans: Too much, eh?  Well, don't give up on this profession yet, Zooe.  It's really great.
Me: Thanks Paul.  Thanks a lot.  [leave the room]

When I got back to my office, I locked my door and tears came streaming down my face.  Uncontrollably.  What happened? 

I took a moment or two to recuperate and took the apple picture.  A friend gave this to me in my first year of teaching.  I've kept it on my desk.  Cute apple, isn't it?

Snaps shots 1

I rarely do photo-blogs here, but I would like to try and have a go at it this time.  I'm not saying this will be amazing, but I thought it would be nice to show you what I have been up to in the recent months.

Chris and I went to Taiwan a few months ago and here's what we saw among many other things <3

The temples

Some adorable alpacas
 

Her name is Venus, Chris' brother's girlfriend's dog.  We took her out for a walk one day.  I can tell you that she's not too keen on exercise.

And here's my breakfast today.  Chris' lovely homemade tomato sauce on toast.  His idea.

  

The view from my office today. It's been raining for almost 2 months here...

Hope you enjoyed!

What a week, what a day (yesterday)

It's been somewhat of a stressful week and it all began when my dad gave me the phone call.

Me: Hello?
Dad: Zooe?
Me: Yeah, hi dad
Dad: I saw the plan you sent us....
Me: Yes....
Dad: Are you really going to India [annoyed]
Me: Yes...
Dad: [even more annoyed and disappointed] Why do you feel like you need to go to India?
Me: [speechless]....we just want to go and take a look
Dad: *sigh*

Dad: Okay...*sigh*...then I don't know what else to say then.  I don't want to talk anymore [hangs up the phone]

Just like that.  The end of the conversation.

I was left hanging in the middle of nowhere and from that very second on, I was in a rut. 

That phone call took place last Monday.  It is now Wednesday of the following week and I think - I think - I have just finally manged to deal with what had happened.

The shock.

Poor Chris, of course.  I vented out my frustration and anger to him all week =(

If you ask me why we are going to India, I honestly cannot give you a good reason other than, "Why not?  I want to go see it."  The way I see it, it's like asking someone why they decide to go travel and 9 times out of 10, they will tell you, "No particular reason, I just want to go see it."

It's a good enough reason for me and it's a good enough for Chris.  I really don't think we are really that crazy.

Besides, I'm going to chop off all my hair before I go, make sure I get a good tan, and wear really scruffy clothes.  We are going to take all the precautions.

Are we really that crazy?

 

came, saw, and decided...?

Another weekend update?  Sort of...

I hope everyone had a good weekend.  Mine was all cooked-up.  Chris came over Saturday afternoon and told me, "Honey, my co-workers love your beef stew.  One of them said he would pay $200 for a huge batch.  Do you think you can make it?"

0_0"  [stunned]

Me: Are you serious?  
Chris: Yeah...I think so.

Meanwhile, Chris got a phone call from the very co-worker to enquire about the beef situation.

Me: Was that just him calling?  
Chris: Yeah, he's serious.

And so began a whole Sunday morning cooking escapade.  Chris has actually never seen me cook the beef stew from scratch before and naturally, he was quite curious (and excited) to see what I do in the kitchen.  Well, to be frank, he doesn't see me in the kitchen all that often because I actually never go in there that often.  So, he's very keen on checking things out whenever I'm in there.

It's pretty funny because on the one hand, I'm trying to get this stew done while on the other hand, I have this giant (aka Chris because he's very tall) right next to me watching and attempting to help.

Anyway, long story short, we got it done and it looked yummy.  Chris will report back to me tonight.  Can't wait to hear the verdict.

So, about the title of this post!

After a full morning of cooking, Chris and I decided to chill out at a beachy / local market area in the afternoon.  While we were walking around, he said to me, "You know, I think we will probably end up in China by the time we come back from our trip."

Me: Really....China
Chris: Yeah, I feel it.
Me: So where in China?  Shanghai?
Chris: Probably not since it's already a developed city.  It's probably going to be a secondary city that the PRC government is trying to develop.  Things are still relatively cheap, but it's got huge potential.
Me: Cool.  

What do you think?

If I can start over...

I just painted my nails - a nude polish with a sparkly accent nail - and I'm going to write this blog while they dry.  This could be a disaster, but I'm going to go with it anyway.

The title of this post is "If I can start over..."

I think everyone (well, I suggest) should have a post on this topic in their blog (if they write blogs) or at least think about it and have this conversation with themselves.  I think it is that important.

If I can start over, I think I would start over right when I finished my PhD.  Now, to be clear, I never regretted my decision to do my PhD.  Never.  It paid my living expenses (and then some) during all 4 years of my study; it enabled me to live on my own; and it, quite frankly, got me and Chris together.

What I would do differently is that I would not take up the job at my current university and subsequently, begin my academic career.  In other words, I always wonder if I was not doing what I have been doing for the past 3 years (i.e. teaching), what in the world would I be doing now?  What would I have chosen as my career?  Where would I have ended up?

This teaching thing is not bad.  It pays really well and it's a really comfortable job.  Flexible hours, great benefits, and everyone (almost everyone) thinks you are smart.  But at the end of the day, I am pretty certain that this is not my passion.

I work at this job because it pays me, not because it drives me.  And as I sit in my fancy office overlooking the harbor, which is a great view, I still wonder constantly, What If....? 

I'm restless.  I don't sit well in my chair - this current chair.  So, this is how I know this is not for me.

In my mind, I think I am justified to say that I've wasted 3 years, career wise.

And so, I ask you the same question: "If you can start over, when and how would you start over?"
 

Weekend Update

I've always liked Weekend Updates.  It's sort of my way to recap (and relive) the weekend and prepare myself for the work week ahead.  It's therapeutic.

This weekend, a friend of mine treated me and Chris to an Indian dinner.  He's Indian and happens to be one of my very good friends.  We had a party of five: me, Chris, him, his girlfriend, and his best friend.  It was a great gathering.  We started the meal at 8pm and finished at 11pm.  So you know - you just know - it was a great meal. 

It was fantastic having a local (him) with us because he was able to order new or authentic dishes other than the infamous Butter Chicken, which we still ended up ordering because it was that good. 

We had a great time and stuffed our bellies.  I was so full that I was having trouble falling asleep since the stomach was hard at work.  Chris, on the other hand, was sleeping like a giant baby.

The next day, we were still feeling the effects of the food coma and we just chilled, planned our trip, and ate McD's.  Of course, since McD's has always been our favorite. 

=) Another week ahead.  Take care, y'all!

Bloggin'

Blogging.

I haven't been blogging for very long.  Public blogging, that is, if we can call it that.

I used to keep a private blog online that I share with Chris.  He was the only one who had access to the diary and it was something that we shared during our long distance dating.  Yes, it felt that long of a distance =)

 I closed that blog and began this current one. 

But if we look at this in the big picture kind of way, I've been writing since I was in grade 5, which was 20 years ago.  It was in my grade 5 English class that I've developed this habit of writing journals.  We had to write 1 journal entry per week as part of our weekly assignment for the class.  And ever since then, I've been writing 2 or 3 entries per week in journals, note pads, random papers, letters.....just scattered everywhere with no permanent home.

I'm fairly sure that I will continue to write....well into my more senior years because that's just what I do, as the cliche goes.  However, I'm not sure what form it will take.  In this current blog?  In a book?  In magazines?  Newspapers?  Will they still be around then?

Who knows.  Who knows.  =)

Ownership

An interesting *new* feeling came over me today (and these past few days)....

This nice office with a nice view over the harbor....nice....but it's not mine.
This nice office....not mine.
This nice computer....not mine.
This nice office building, Starbucks, marble floors.......all somebody else's property. 
Not mine.

So, all of a sudden, I feel like I want to do something or spend time working on something that will be mine or eventually become mine. 

The whole idea of working for somebody or in my case, an institution (university) in an office that doesn't belong to me just lost its appeal.  It feels alienating today.

Then, I googled the following "Fashion Magazine Internship".

Hummmmm.....

What could be next???

Stillness of the night

I posted a similar quote before...

"In the darkest, stillness of the night, when you are left with nothing but the terror of your own thoughts, and if you find that you are happy with the decisions you have made, that you are alright with them, then you have made the right decisions."

I believe the credit goes to Nietzsche, paraphrased by one of the guest lecturers for my course from last term.

I loved this quote.  Recently, I've been coming across similar quotes on facebook, web pages, status updates....everywhere.  There's a saying that if you intend to look for something or if that certain something is on your mind, then you'll notice it or spot it more often than usual.  It's certainly true for me these days.

The term is about to end soon, precisely, at the end of April.  I have about one more month to go before the long-awaited plan becomes a reality.  Yes, an actual reality.  Our backpacking trip will begin on July 1st.  If you've been reading this blog for some time, then you must know that this is something I've been talking about for a long time now.

So, you have been on this journey with me too.

What will be in store for Chris and me?  What career decisions will I make after our 6 months of traveling?  Will I actually have the guts to pursue what I think is my dream?  

What's that, you ask?

A writer, perhaps?

Who knows.  

I will think about it in the darkest, stillness of the night. 

Friend from afar

A friend who I haven't seen or talked to for almost 2 years resurfaced again this weekend.  It began with a phone call, "Hello, can I speak to...."

I said, "Leonore!?!?  What on earth have you been up to?"

"I'm here with a research team.  We are doing some interviews on the democratic development / civil society in your city.  Do you have time to meet up?"

The next day, we met in-between her interviews at the university's Starbucks.  After 2 weddings and a baby (her new baby boy) later, us two gals were all caught up of nearly two years worth of life. 

She invited me and Chris to move to Shanghai.  In her words, Chris and I should "seriously consider it" because she believes that there are lots of opportunities for us there. 

Funny enough, Chris and I have always liked Shanghai, especially Chris.  We've visited Shanghai twice so far, the first time was for a student exchange program in 2006 and the second time was for Expo 2010.  In a nut shell, Shanghai left us with a very good impression both times.

At this early stage in the game, Leonore, Chris and I are all thrilled about the possibilities.  There's nothing like moving to a new and exciting city to begin anew and realize our dreams.

The way ahead

I received an email today from our department head informing us that the selection committee has narrowed down the list of candidates and will be conducting jobs talks in the coming weeks.

For your information, 'job talks' are interviews for academics.  We invite those who have applied for a position at our department to come in and do a talk with us.  Usually, these talks will last about an hour or so (which is open to the public) followed by a close door interview (which is only open to the selection committee). 

During the first hour of the talk, the applicant will do a 20 minute presentation on his/her research and the audience can then ask him/her questions about various topics: the actual content of the research, the research methodology, his/her teaching philosophy, or we can simply criticize/challenge the research and see how he/she will handle it.

When this part of the talk is over, we proceed to the second part of the interview, which is more about the nitty gritty stuff such as how many courses can the applicant teach, what are the applicant's qualifications, his/her research record...etc etc.

If this talk is done in the morning, then we may invite the applicant for a department lunch afterwards.  Or we may have lunch with the applicant first before proceeding to the talk.

Either way, it's a process.

So, when I got this email today, I had mixed feelings.  The first thing that came to me as I scrolled down the list of applicants was that I could pretty much guess who was going to make it and who wasn't.  The fact that I realized this was not very pleasant.

Second, I felt a sense of relief in that I was glad I was not going to be part of this process; that as far as I know at the moment, I was not going to continue down this career path anymore.  I've been doing this work for nearly 10 years now, so I was certainly glad I finally had the opportunity to move on. 

It's a nice feeling, really.  Finally, a chance to do something different.  It's almost a blessing.  =)

Dreams

I have a few minutes to spare before a meeting, so I thought I quickly squeeze in a few lines.

I've been having some interesting dreams recently.  Dreams about stuff that happened a long long time ago ranging from childhood memories, stuff from elementary school, highschool, and random everyday stuff that I wouldn't expect to be significant enough to appear in dreams. 

But there they are, in my dreams, like episodes of my alternate reality.  Some of them feel like they are explanations of my past...things that I didn't understand at the time when they happened and now I get to better understand them through my dreams.  Sounds crazy...but it's quite therapeutic.

Like last night, I dreamt about the guy that I had a crush on back in grade 8.  We never ended up dating or anything because when he finally asked me out on the last day of school, I flatly told him no.  At the time, my little young self (and undeveloped brain) didn't quite comprehend what liking someone meant or what going out meant.  So, when he asked if I would like to go to the movies with him, I simply went to my default answer to anything that I wasn't sure about, "No".

Looking back, I think we could have gone a little bit of the distance.  He wasn't crazy like most guys in their teenage years, but he certainly wasn't weird or boring.  He was into all the cool stuff before they were considered to be cool at the time: skiing, snowboarding, nice T-shorts, vans (the shoe).....he was pretty cool, but not too cool.

So, in my dream last night, the episode played out where he explained to me why we could never be together.  If I remember my dream correctly, I was sad about the outcome, but I accepted it because I could understand the circumstance.  The exact reason why we couldn't be together was not that important.  It could have been any reason for that matter.  What was important / special was that I understood and accepted it.  I guess you could say that I had closure. 

Closure.

This was a very important word to me at an earlier point in my life.  Funny how it made its way back to my life again in 2013.

<3

Meaning of life

Whoa, I promise this post is not going to be as deep/philosophical as the title.  I promise.  This is not a class.

But I happened to stumble upon a share from my facebook buddies and it caught my eye.  I'll put the link here.  It's from The Atlantic and the title is "There's more to life than being happy".  In fact, it says that "It is the very pursuit of happiness that thwarts happiness."

It's a very good article and I suggest you all to take a look.  Basically, the point is that we all try so hard to be happy, but it's a kind of happiness that can be quite shallow and self-absorbed.  Rather, the article shows us that sometimes, it may be better to lead a meaningful life, rather than a happy life.  Accordingly, life with meaning is a life with purpose.  And a life with purpose will ultimately be more satisfying, more rewarding, and to a certain extent, it implies that it's a better life than the shallow, self-absorbed happy life.

It's a very interesting concept and in some parts of the article, it even suggests that a meaningful life is possibly a less happier life.  Because to lead a meaningful life at times will involve giving, sacrificing, and arguing.  It may even require the individual to confront difficult questions or situations in life.  Hence, while those experiences may not necessarily be happy experiences, they are worthwhile, meaningful ones. 

Have I convinced you yet?  Well, even if I haven't, do go take a look at the original post.  It's very interesting and after reading it, I did feel somewhat better about my current situation.

Yes, most of you will think: "What have you got to be unhappy about?  You're about to get married, you have a job, you are about to go on a wonderful vacation...what are you unhappy about?"

Well, if the article is legit, then what I'm after is not necessarily happiness, but meaning.  Perhaps, I'm struggling to find meaning in my life....despite all the good things that are happening in life.

Something to think about.... =)