It's all in my head

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I was searching through job ads today and came across a couple that were very interesting, all in the journalism/publishing section.  One was a editor position in the educational/texbook industry.  The other one, which appealed to me the most, was a reporter/assistant editor position for a lifestyle magazine.  It emphasized that potential job seekers should have an interest in luxury living ------- hello? Who doesn't want that??

Of course, all this sounds amazing <--- daydreaming. 

But when it gets right down to it, my major concerns are: what's the salary? what are the hours? what's the level of commitment - is it going to take up my whole life (it's a funny question because it's not like the job that I have now doesn't take up my whole mental life)?

Two days ago, my university put out an ad looking for writers for its official magazine. You have no idea how my heart almost jumped out of me.  All I could say to myself was, "It's a sign, Zooe!  It's a sign!  See, even the higher powers are giving you an opportunity to try something different!!!!"  Seriously though, of all my years at the university, this is THE FIRST time I've seen such ad.  So, maybe it is a sign after all.....and maybe, I'll just apply and see what happens!

Yes, that was the line of thinking this afternoon.  As soon as I got home, however, things changed.  I thought, "Why would I want to do extra work?  Why ask for more trouble?  What if writing for the magazine is not as fun as it seems and what would I have done by taking on additional responsibilities? It's not like I'm managing all that well in my current day job?!"

= ="  God Zooe, have you got no guts?  Where did they go?  Where have you lost them???

I think I will prepare the resume nevertheless.  Talk to Chris about it tonight and make a decision.

Wish me luck.