What this means to me

We kept it very - very - low key this holiday.

For Christmas, we stayed at home, cooked, shopped, and went to see the Buddha.  We woke up late, ate whenever, and pretty much went wherever.

For New Years, super low key to the point where almost nothing happened.  We counted down online.  I did some more shopping, scored a great deal on a new bag (hope it will last more than a year), slept, and kept very quiet.  He read, went online, ate, and relaxed as well.

This quiet time of mine made me realize several things:

1) I faced a similar situation before. When I decided to drop Biology and transferred to a Political Science major, it was because I couldn't take the grind. I realized that it wasn't what I thought it was; it wasn't easy; it required me to start from zero; and so I gave up.

When I realized the similarity between my situation then and my situation now, the idea of applying to write for the university magazine faded substantially.  I realize that I may be repeating what I did before and I don't think I want to do that this time.  I cannot run away from my problems again. I think I need to face it even it if means possible failure.

2) I realize that I miss Chris a lot during our time apart.  There's nothing like spending time together and being in each other's presence.  I now understand why Chris will spend every ounce of energy he has to come see me if he can.  There's really nothing like being together =)

3) With that being said, however, I don't think I would have realized these things had I gone to see him.  As much as I wanted to jump on the train to see him, I think these few days were important to me.  It slowed me down, quieted me down, so I could somewhat think properly.

Where I live, it's always so busy.  Everyone is on the go, rushing through time, trying to make it to the next thing, trying to catch up.  So, I'm glad I was able to be very still and quiet for a few days.  It feels refreshing.

4) Finally, yes, I think I can do it now ;)