Tomorrow's lecture at 4:30 in the afternoon will be my last lecture of the semester. One more semester to go and I will be a free woman. So to speak. For now.
At the end of the class today, which is the last lecture for another course I'm teaching, I was given a nice round of applause. The students seemed to appreciate the effort I put into the course and they seemed to enjoy it? Well, they were certainly happy.
At the end of it all, I'm relieved, of course. It always feels good to finish something. However, yes, HOWEVER, I realize that this time around is different.
This time around, the sense of relief comes from knowing that I may never have to lecture on this topic again. To teach this class again. To be in the same classroom again. It's the feeling that...
"Ok, now I'm finished with this drudgery part of the work, I can finally move on to something more promising and satisfying."
So, you see, this is the difference. I don't feel any sense of accomplishment or satisfaction about this at all whereas before, in anything that I did before, I would. For example, when I was writing for the Varsity student newspaper back then, I felt a great sense of accomplishment and pride everytime I finished drafting my article. And when I hit the SEND button to email my draft to my editor, it was Heaven.
With this teaching thing, I don't get that. I'm so relieved that it's over.
So, that is clearly a sign, no? Isn't that a very clear indication that it's time to move on? That I should spend my energy on something else? I think so.
No comments:
Post a Comment