Dreams

I have a few minutes to spare before a meeting, so I thought I quickly squeeze in a few lines.

I've been having some interesting dreams recently.  Dreams about stuff that happened a long long time ago ranging from childhood memories, stuff from elementary school, highschool, and random everyday stuff that I wouldn't expect to be significant enough to appear in dreams. 

But there they are, in my dreams, like episodes of my alternate reality.  Some of them feel like they are explanations of my past...things that I didn't understand at the time when they happened and now I get to better understand them through my dreams.  Sounds crazy...but it's quite therapeutic.

Like last night, I dreamt about the guy that I had a crush on back in grade 8.  We never ended up dating or anything because when he finally asked me out on the last day of school, I flatly told him no.  At the time, my little young self (and undeveloped brain) didn't quite comprehend what liking someone meant or what going out meant.  So, when he asked if I would like to go to the movies with him, I simply went to my default answer to anything that I wasn't sure about, "No".

Looking back, I think we could have gone a little bit of the distance.  He wasn't crazy like most guys in their teenage years, but he certainly wasn't weird or boring.  He was into all the cool stuff before they were considered to be cool at the time: skiing, snowboarding, nice T-shorts, vans (the shoe).....he was pretty cool, but not too cool.

So, in my dream last night, the episode played out where he explained to me why we could never be together.  If I remember my dream correctly, I was sad about the outcome, but I accepted it because I could understand the circumstance.  The exact reason why we couldn't be together was not that important.  It could have been any reason for that matter.  What was important / special was that I understood and accepted it.  I guess you could say that I had closure. 

Closure.

This was a very important word to me at an earlier point in my life.  Funny how it made its way back to my life again in 2013.

<3