To stop and leave is not to say goodbye.
Hold on, Zooe; come again?!
Prof Evans (remember him from my previous post?) knocked on my door this afternoon.
He peeked in and said: Well, bye Professor! I'm heading off to the airport now.
Me: Oh, hi Paul! You are leaving today!
Evans: Yes, well, it was very nice meeting you.....
Me: Same here
Evans: I wish you all the best; Happy Marriage and Honeymoon and I hope that you will become a successful and happy and lovely professor in the next 5 years.
Me: Well.....that's......
Evans: No, I really wish that for you.
Me: Then, thank you very much! Safe journey! Safe journey!
And with that, he was gone like the wind.
I think he must have felt that I belong in academia, but maybe not in this current university. So, he was always very encouraging in terms of me giving it another chance and thinking it through.
I am ambivalent about this profession. If I do end up doing it again, a miracle or something to that effect must have happened. While I'm not ruling it out, but for me to step inside another university again, I know that it will take a whole lot of convincing and soul searching.
So, this trip / time off / 7-months-vacation-thing could not have happened in a more opportune time. It's the perfect way for me to detox and un-jade myself. I know for a fact that I have become jaded. I don't understand nor do I believe in the university system anymore and this not good, especially if I work in such a system.
I really look forward to what is to come. I'm not saying it will be smooth sailing, but at least, it will be in the right direction for me. So while I am leaving and stopping this now, it doesn't mean I am done and through.
In fact, this is just the beginning. For me and for Chris <3
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