Comfort food --> Dad

I went to the bookstore yesterday to look for books on marriage.  Basically, I was looking for anything that would shed light on whether to say yes or no, how to make that decision, is there such a thing called proposal anxiety...etc...etc.  And of course, I had no luck.

Here's why.

First of all, I felt a little embarrassed browsing the "self-help / relationship" isle.  I didn't want people to think I was a desperate person looking for the right guy, which to a certain extent, I couldn't pretend that I wasn't.  I was seeking advice on whether I found the right guy.    

Second, those book titles just made me cringe.  I mean couldn't they come up with something more tasteful, more discreet, and more sophisticated?  How to find the guy of your dreams; Discover your inner diva; How to make him stay; and Why he is just not good enough for you.

Oh my dear, even if I had the courage to bring any of these titles to the register, I would never have the courage to actually pick up any of them and start reading.  I mean, the whole world would see the cover!  Yes, I do judge some books by their covers.  And in this case, it's hard not to judge.

In all fairness, I did flip through some of them and it didn't get any better.  They just all sounded like advice that I didn't want to hear.  That voice, that "surely you deserve better" voice.  I just had to snap them shut and put them back on the self or the vault where they belonged.

I was happy that I didn't get a book; otherwise, I would have to waste time reading it.  So instead, I thought I would bring up the topic during my weekly chat sessions with my dad. Of course, I didn't really have the guts to bring up the specific issues, but I sort of, somehow, talked around it and I felt better already. 

It just always feels good to talk to my dad even if I don't tell him my problems.  Sometimes, I don't even say a lot, but I just feel better.  So basically, anytime I feel bad, I just think about him and I feel better, stronger <3 .