The anxiety

The immediate effect of finding out that your contract may not be renewed next year is that you wake up the next morning feeling "Oh crap!.....8 months from now, I'm jobless."

This is to be expected, of course.  No one enjoys being jobless. I know because this is the 2nd time I will be jobless.  The first time it happened, my mouth broke out in canker sores and I lost 10 pounds.  The only things that I could consume were watermelons, jello, and soup.  I couldn't eat anything else.

So, this time around, I'm not sure what will happen.  What I do know is that Chris will be around and we will deal with it (somehow) together.

Just like any other normal couple out there, we argued (sort of) last night.  When one partner loses a job, it puts great pressure on both people.  In our case, BOTH of us will be losing our jobs, so imagine THAT!

And this is all to happen before we get married!...??......!!!!  Yes, I don't know what to think either; whether to laugh or cry....life.

I just got off the phone with Chris to reconfirm that we are going to the fancy restaurant this Saturday to celebrate of 5th year of togetherness.

Me: So, we are still going to the restaurant?
Chris: Yes and we need to eat a lot!  So, don't eat so much at lunch time. 
Me: No, I mean, shouldn't we go somewhere else cheaper to save money?
Chris: Ooooh.....well.....it's really only just once a year for our anniversary, so, it's okay.
Me: Oh...hahahaha....ok....once a year only....
Chris: Yes...so I need to make the reservation
Me: Sure.

I actually woke up hating the world this morning.  I dragged myself to work because if I didn't, things would just get worse.  I was in a bad mood from the moment I got up to the moment I sat my behind in my office chair.  I was pretty miserable.

Then Chris messaged me: Morning Baby [attached with a picture of a monkey]
Me: Good morning, why a monkey?
Chris: It's cute and smart.
Me: Like you?
Chris: Like us.
           Baby, I love you no matter what you do.
           I hope you can be happy.

Seeing that and after having that phone conversation with him, my world felt warm again.  Maybe this will be alright after all.

{tear}