...I promise.
If you've been reading the blog for some time, you know that I'm not big on weddings. Unlike some people, I'm not overly excited about the wedding NOT because I'm not exciting about Chris (I am very very excited about him!), but because I'm not into the show, so to speak.
So, this is not going to become a blog about my wedding and you won't see a new section in this blog dedicated to the wedding. If you want to read and watch videos about weddings, there are tons of youtube videos and blogs on that. Many youtubers have created a wedding channel, but I won't be one doing that.
So, what do I want to talk about? Well, Chris and I, over the course of the past week or so, have discovered that we have very different conceptions and ideas about the wedding. When my parents got married, they had a very informal lunch buffet. It was very casual thing with no wedding invitations, no save-the-dates, no registry lists....nothing. My mom didn't even wear a wedding gown! She wore a very simple sundress to her wedding. Cool.
Now, Chris' family is very traditional. So, they follow the traditions to the T.
Needless to say, worlds collide, right?
Yes, Chris and I have debated and debated over what we can compromise on and what cannot....and I don't know if we have actually changed anything by the end of our conversation, but we certainly felt a lot better.
Chris: If you people don't attend the wedding, how would it make me look, on my side?
Me: I don't know...how?
Chris: It will seem like the wedding is not important, your people don't think it's important.
Me: My people cannot come because they live an ocean away and we can't afford their plane tickets
and accommodations.....and everyone knows that. Everyone knows my family is far away.
Chris: But the senior people on my side will not understand. They think we should pay.
Me: Yes, we should pay, but my people are busy too. My uncle will need to take a vacation leave, make sure Andrew is out of school and get the whole family here. That's a lot of work.
Chris: But it's our wedding...
Me: So? The world does not stop just because it's our wedding. There are more important things
than our wedding.
Me: And I'm not going to let my parents spend $24000 just on plane ticket, just to be here for one
night.
Chris: So, the wedding is not important to you?
Me: No, it's not important. Meeting you is the important thing. Thinking about how we can spend
the money wisely afterwards, that's more important. I rather spend the money on food and on
the house than flowers and wedding card invitations.
Chris: [silence]
Ultimately, we both agreed that it is difficult for my people to join the wedding party. That's why we are doing 2 parties. One here with Chris' family and a 2nd one when Chris and I fly back to my hometown.
So, I really have no control over how people are going to think. As long as Chris and I are happy, then that's all that matters. There's no need to explain or justify it to anyone else.
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